Na Magreth Bavuma
Ouyah eeeeh niaje niaje, karibuni tena kwenye segment yetu pendwa ya dunia ya wanavyuo “unicorner” sehemu moja tu tunayo elimishana juu ya mambo mawili matatu yanayohusiana na wanavyuo na vyuo vyao, lets goooo!!!!
Kuna watu tangu walipoanza kujihusisha na suala zima la mahusiano hawajawahi kupumzisha moyo, wala kupata muda wa kuwa single, labda kwako mahusiano ni fashion flani hivi na kuwa single ni mwiko kabisa, unaweza kujisikia fahari sana kwa upande mmoja lakini ukweli ni kwamba unajinyima haki yako ya msingi ya kujijua na kutambua strenghts pamoja na weaknesses zako.
Umekua na mahusiano ya back to back mengine yamekuumiza sana na kukuachia majeraha makubwa lakini hakuna hata siku moja uliyokaa na kuamua ku take time off relationship issues, imekua addiction since every time you think about being single unahisi ni kama kuna mambo yako hayataenda.
Hivi, umewahi kufikiria ni kwanini many of the relationships you’ve tried didn’t work out? wakati mwingine ni kwa sababu umeingia kwenye mahusiano mapya ukiwa bado una maumivu ya mahusiano yaliyopita, every time u deny yourself muda wa ku-breath baada ya kutoka kwenye uhusiano mmoja unajitengenezea sumu ambayo at the end inakua ni intoxicating kwako na kwa watu wengine ambao wanajaribu kuwa karibu na wewe.
Tunaishi kwenye dunia ambayo vijana wanaaanza ku-experience changamoto za mahusiano wakiwa na umri mdogo tuchukulie kijana ambae yuko chuoni lakini alianza mahusiano akiwa na umri wa miaka 15, katika miaka yote hiyo amekutana na mikiki mikiki na hajawahi kuwa treated right vitu alivyo-experience ni maumivu yaliyo sababishwa na usaliti.
Baadhi ya vijana walio vyuoni wanaamini kwamba in order for one to move on ni kuanzisha mahusiano mengine, kitu ambacho sio sahihi na kinazidi kukutengenezea majeraha yasiopona.
Kuna maswali ambayo hata ukianza kujiuliza saa hii utagundua you don’t even know yourself, Em ask yourself a simple question “mimi napenda nini”?? utagundua you have no idea of anything that concerns you, how do you expect to be treated right while you’ve never done that to yourself? You don’t take yourself out, you don’t buy yourself nice things and u want to feel loved by another person while binafsi huna mapenzi na wewe kabisa kiufupi umewekeza kufurahisha watu unaokua nao kwenye mahusiano and it’s not right, like what about you?
Kuwa na moment of singleness ni afya kwa sababu itakusaidia kujijua wewe binafsi na kujua ni nini unapenda, nini unataka and what’s best for you, having your own standards in life is an outcome of loving you first, having no partner in your life ndiyo kipimo cha kuyajua hayo yote kuhusu wewe, kuwa single haimaanishi you’ll be that way forever noooo! Ila tu ni kipindi fulani katika maisha kinachokupa nafasi ya kuwa wewe na wewe and get to know yourself better.
Aidha moment of singleness ina umuhimu katika kuruhusu kuponya majeraha yaliyosababishwa na mahusiano yaliyopita na kukupa mwanzo mzuri wa kujenga na kukabiliana na changamoto zitakazo jitokeza
katika mahusiano yako ya mbeleni. Ukisema uta-heal hukohuko unakua unaongeza maumivu juu ya maumivu, kila wakati utakua unaona your current partner is trying to do the same mistakes your ex did.
Pia moment of singleness inakupa nafasi ya kufurahia uhuru wako binafsi na kujifanyia maamuzi yanayohusiana na maisha yako. Hautakua na mtu wa kumlaumu kuhusu chochote you’ll be accountable of your own actions, watu wenye uwezo wa kujifanyia maamuzi wananafasi kubwa yaku-develop their “inner strength”. mwanasaikolojia huko nchini uingereza anaefahamika kwa jina Russell Thackeray, anasema “No partner “completes” you, you need to be a whole happy person on your own before sharing your life with someone else.
Kwa upande mwingine inafanya unakuwa na majuto machache, kwa kawaida watu ambao hawajapata nafasi ya kujijua na kujipa upekee wanaweza kupata majuto. Tumia moment of singleness kama fursa ya kujipenda na kufanya vitu ambavyo mahusiano yako yaliopita hayakukupa nafasi ya kuyafanya kwa mfano wewe unapenda kucheza mpira lakini ex wako hakupenda wewe ufanye hivyo. Kadri unavyotumia muda na wewe mwenyewe na kuelewa wazi thamani yako, ndivyo utakavyomvutia mwenzi ambaye ni sahihi kwako.
Utafiti wa mwaka 2008 uliochapishwa katika Jarida la Ulaya la Saikolojia ya Jamii uligundua kuwa watu wengine mara nyingi wanafikiri kwamba wale ambao ni single ni wenye huzuni. linaongezea kwamba, inawezekana kundi lenye furaha zaidi liwe ni wanawake ambao ni single na hawana watoto, kwa mujibu wa Paul Dolan, profesa wa sayansi ya tabia katika Chuo Kikuu cha London School of Economics na mwandishi wa kitabu "Happy Ever After."
Mshauri wa saikolojia anaefahamika kwa jina Roxy Zarrabi anatoa faida nyingine kubwa ya u-single ni kuwa na nafasi katika maisha yako ya kutumia muda pamoja na marafiki, kwa mujibu wa utafiti uliochapishwa katika Jarida la Mahusiano ya Kijamii na Binafsi linaandika, kuwa single kunakuza connections za kijamii. Hii ni kwa sababu walioko single wanakuwa wazi zaidi kwa mitandao yao ya kijamii, na hutoa na kupokea msaada zaidi.
Having to wake up every morning and attend classes is already a lot of work, so the last thing you need as a university student ni stress juu ya mapenzi make sure unakua na moment of singleness ni afya, na ni kwa ajili yako kama ambavyo hau-date ili uwaonyeshe watu the same is to having a moment of singleness, it’s for your own good. Always remember first step of solving a problem is admitting that you have a problem and stop confusing obsession with love, you don’t fall in love soon after a heart break u only get obsessed.Tukifika kwenye suala linalogusa moyo na hisia zake hatuwezi kumaliza lakini kwa leo em tuishi humo kwanza, vijana kuteswa na mapenzi wakati mwingine tunajitakia mjue, sasa mtu unapigwa tukio leo kesho uko kwa mwingine siyo mashindano staying single is healthy wanangu take time out and build yourself, know your worth and abilities kiufupi unatakiwa ujipende to the extent that unaweza mpa huo upendo Loml wako.
‘Sapoti’ yenu wakuu ndiyo kila kitu thank you, wabeja sana ogopa matapeli ‘kona’ ya wanavyuo ni moja tu “unicorner” until next time tchaooooo!
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